And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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