I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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