i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
