That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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