Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
