i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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