Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
