How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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