So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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