woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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