Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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