just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
