dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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