woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
