her vagine was all disorganized.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
