So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
