He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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