I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
