I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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