I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Use "feeling words"
Yay
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
