Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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