Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
