I am puke
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
