and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
