so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
