I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
