i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
