That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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