I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
