if you like me you must not know who I am
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
