Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
