I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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