there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
