i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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