you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
