I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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