I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
