i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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