My Higher Power is John Stamos
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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