Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
