if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
