Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
