I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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