Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
