For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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