I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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