Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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