can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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