I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
