btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
