It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
